Sunday, November 14, 2010

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the light bulb must really want to be changed.

Our light bulbs are not so open to psychologic enlightenment.

Above our kitchen, we have five niches.  Four contain artwork, one contains a clock.  All have a spot light above them.

Twice a year, when it's time to change the clocks, we drag the 20' extension ladder in, and Ray goes up to set the proper time on the clock.

This year, we figured we'd replace all five light bulbs as long as he was up there - easy, right?  Um, no.

  1. Get the wrong light bulbs from the store.
  2. Go back and get the right light bulbs.
  3. Haul the ladder in, trying hard not to bash it too many times on the walls, or the 120 year old suite of furniture in the breakfast nook.
  4. Reconfigure the ladder to the proper positioning for the job.
  5. Insert finger in the wrong place at the wrong time as telescoping ladder collapses.
  6. Take a first aid break.
  7. Painstakingly wrestle ladder into a position that allows access to the recessed lighting.  It is scarily veritcal.
  8. Head up with light bulb in hand.
  9. Drop the light bulb.
  10. Take a cleaning break to deal with shards of glass projected in a 20' radius.
  11. Head up with another light bulb.  One down, four to go.
  12. Painstakingly wrestle the ladder into the next niche.
  13. Discover minor electrical problem too high to reach from ladder.
  14. Find a bench that will fit on the ledge and that is high enough, carry it up the ladder.
  15. Three trips up and down and out the garage for the proper tools.
  16. Insert light bulb.  It does not work.
  17. Send light blub back down to be tested in another fixture.
  18. Test light bulb in fixture and realize how very dirty the fixture is.
  19. More work on the recessed fixture.
  20. Send light bulb back up.
  21. It works!  Two down, three to go.
  22. Painstakingly wrestle the ladder into the next niche.
  23. Remove clock to change time.  Decide that it needs cleaning.
  24. Clean clock.
  25. Decide the batteries should be replaced.
  26. Back down to find proper batteries.
  27. Adjust time, change bulb.  Three town, two to go.
  28. Painstakingly wrestle the ladder into the next niche.
  29. Have a lot of trouble getting the ladder in the right position.
  30. Bash the wall in the niche a couple of times.
  31. Head back out to the garage to find the special paint the niches were painted with.
  32. Remove socks and put them on the ladder to avoid this problem in the future.
  33. Head back up with light bulb and paint brush.
  34. Change bulb, paint niche.  Four down, one to go.
  35. Painstakingly wrestle the ladder into the next nook.
  36. Realize that since one was broken, we are now out of light bulbs.
  37. Take another trip to the store to buy light bulbs.
  38. Head back up and change the light bulb.

Success!  Illumination!  Cocktails, please!

1 comment:

Bud said...

To Ray,

My wife won't let me climb ladders, lucky you!