$%&* Elf

Elf on the Shelf




Bridget has been wanting an "elf," just like all her buddies. As you also may know, I was utterly clueless as to what this elf is/does. So, I called some other mommies, they enlightened me.

Bridget has wanted an elf SO BAD. She has written to Santa politely requesting and elf. She has made a BED for him. She has BIG PLANS to show the elf the wonders of Her World.

I searched high and low for ANY $%&* elf that could take up residence in our home and do mischief. You'd think I could find a $%&# elf.

There are shelves full of santas. Shelves full of angels. Shelves full of snowmen. But no $&%$ elves.

Paula clued me in and steered me towards Celebrations. I stomped in there and grumpily demanded "Do you have a $%&$ elf?" The ladies laughed knowingly and said yes, they still had a few $%&# elves left and presented me with a box.

OMIGAWSH. How lucky was I???? And actual "Elf on the Shelf" boxed set. I never expected such a find this late in the game. I was fully prepared to wing it with any old elf I could find. But I only have a few years of this wonderful innocence left, and was glad to shell out THIRTY DOLLARS for the $%&# elf.

I snuck it in the house. Ray and I discussed and strategized how to deploy the $%&# elf. He magically turned up while we were decorating the Christmas tree with the kids.

Bridget excitedly sat down and read the BOOK. I mean, how LUCKY was I to get a BOOK?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE BOOK SAYS????? You are not to TOUCH the elf! Bridget immediately dissolved into a sobbing puddle of tears, such was her disappointment at being unable to touch the $%&# elf. She LOVES the #$%&@ elf! She wants to CARRY the $%&# elf! She wants to SLEEP WITH the $%@& elf!

Crying! Huges sobs, giant tears! While we are supposed to be the Happy Family decorating the tree!

%^&# elf.

Sigh. And so.... another letter was duly dispatched to Santa. Could Bridget PLEASE touch the $&^&* elf? Hold it? Hug it? Sleep with it? Santa quickly replied, holding and hugging is OK, no co-sleeping, as it will interfere with the %^&# elf's ability to return to the North Pole each night. And also it's ability, by the way, to wreak havoc on my home and KEEP UP WITH ALL THE OTHER $%&$ ELVES in the creativity and magnitude of it's mischief.

$%&% elf.

Merry $%&# Christmas.

#$&% elf.

Texas Tourists

Betcha didn't know that longhorn cattle lack top front teeth!

Every now and then, when we can string a few days together, we try to see a little bit more of this state we now call home.

Over the Thanksgiving holiday, we headed west. About 2 hours away, to a guest ranch called the Wildcatter. Near the little town of Graham. It couldn't have been a better getaway. The views were stunning and there was so much to do. Check the photos!

Me and my handsome hubby!

Bridgie fishing from a canoe (paddle power by Mama). That is Aidan and Ray in the background.


Ray and the kids fishing

Aidan got his first doe!

More fishing photos - isn't it pretty?

Skeet shooting. Now that's what I call fun!

Bridget and her new friend, General. She got to ride him twice.

Heading back to the barn after a ride up to the top of the bluffs (the photo from up there will most likely be the Christmas card, so no preview!)

The ranch's longhorn herd

Bridgie feeding the longhorns. They're like big puppies!

Learning that I really, really, suck at archery. Gimme a gun, anyday!


The boys, fishing on the Brazos River.

Braggin' On My Husband

As many of you know, we have been working on a "treehouse" for the kids. Well, it's for US too, we know they'll tire of it in a couple of years.

It is officially "done." Done is in quotes, because this type of project is never truly finished.... but in a good way! We have features that will be added over time - a trap door, a fireman's pole, a zip line. Aidan has already built the banister-mounted catapult.

Now, when I say "we" have been working on the clubhouse, I really mean RAY. He designed it (and modified the design countless times in this "design-as-you-build" project - hey, it's a treehouse, not the Taj Mahal!). He figured out how much of each type of lumber we'd need. The color scheme, everything. And then he built it. His only help was weakling me (remember this post?), and our two highly distractable children. A neighbor came and helped w/ the framing one day, Papa Bud spent a few days last spring break swinging a hammer with us, but really, it's all pretty much Ray.

I'm sure, by now, you're just dying to see what it looks like!

Well, I'll show you. If you have 3 minutes, click on the slide show. If you're more the "instant gratification" type, scroll down for ONE photo. If you want more - you'll have to check out the slide show.

Whaddya think? Isn't he amazing?

Soccer Mom Diaries

From Wikipedia : The phrase soccer mom generally refers to a white, married middle class woman who lives in the suburbs and has school age children. She is sometimes portrayed in the media as busy or overburdened and driving a minivan. She is also portrayed as putting the interests of her family, and most importantly her children, ahead of her own.


Tonight's schedule:

3:10 - Aidan emerges from school. There is no bus service for him as he is on a special schedule to allow time for swim practice.

3:25 - Arrive home with Aidan. Give him debriefing on the evening's schedule.

3:35 - Leave house for Bridget's school. SHE didn't take the bus today because she has UIL practice after school for 45 minutes.

4:00 - Arrive back home with Bridget.

4:15 - Leave house w/ Aidan for the 'carpool rendezvous'

4:35 - Arrive back home

5:15 - Leave with Bridget for her 5:40 swim practice

5:40 - 6:15 - Hit grocery store

6:15 - Pick Bridget up from swim practice

6:40 - Arrive back home, feed Bridget

7:30 - Leave to retrieve Aidan from 'carpool rendezvous' site.

7:40 - Arrive back home with Aidan

What is that? Like 4.5 hours in the car? Lucky I like my car!

Smartie Pants

ALERT! More braggin' on my kids!

Can I just brag on my Little Miss for a bit?

She is an Academic Triathlete.

This morning was her school's contest for the National Geographic Geography Bowl. Bridget was one of 10% of 4th & 5th graders that qualified.

In about a month, she is representing her school in the state academic competition, UIL. She is doing "Ready Writing" where she is given a topic and a certain amount of time in which to compose an essay. She had to try out, and is one of three 4th graders from her school doing this.

And a few weeks after that, she is one of about a dozen kids who qualified to compete on behalf of her grade in the first step of the Scripps Spelling Bee.

I credit her love of reading. Books expose you to the world at large and she often has her nose in one, kinda like me when I was a kid. I can remember when she first began reading, she would sit in Ray's lap and read Forbes and Business Week to him. Obviously, some of it stuck!

The Geography Bee was hard! I was amazed at some of the questions, especially towards the end. Bridget got knocked out about Round Three, I think. But there is always next year.

And, like the movie stars say, it's an honor just to be nominated.

GET OUT AND VOTE!!!!

If you don't go vote, you lose the right to complain about anything governmental. So there.

Trick or Treat!

Our little chef and ghoul, ready for a fun night of trick or treating.

As always, it was a lot of fun. The weather was absolutely perfect!

Because we live in a semi-rural area with no streetlights, sidewalks, and a lot of distance between the houses, it's easier to transport the kids from each cluster of homes by trailer. There are several in our area, and they get decorated with lights, hay, etc. The family we went with had us all over for pizza before hand.

Once it was dark, the kids loaded up on the trailer, accompanied by a small flotilla of golf carts. I've renamed my neighbor's 'hood "The Hickory Springs Country Club" due to the number of golf carts they have! Right before we took off, "Freddie Kruger" burst out of the woods complete with goalie mask and running chainsaw. You've never heard 15 little girls scream so loud!

Our last stop of the evening was a real treat. There is a small, private riding facility on our road, a very high-end place. Some of the best riders in the nation have trained there. We went to trick or treat there, but nobody was home but the horses. So, we went into the barn and found treats for the horses and met them all before heading home.

It was a great fall evening!

The Most Patient Horse in the World

Meet Huckleberry.





How many horses do you know that would put up with this?





He's the cutest little pony and he lives at the barn where Bridget takes lessons. While he's generally used with young beginners, some kids DO ride him over jumps at a full canter. He's about a hundred in horse years and just loves his job.





As part of this weekend's horse show (Bridget did not compete - still not ready to make that leap), there was a costume parade.





Bridget and two of her barn buddies wanted to enter. We mommies said "Only if you figure it out for yourselves, we are not sewing costumes anymore!" So, on Saturday those 3 crazy girls dug through all their old costumes and decided to be a punk rock band with a horse.

Besides having to do very little work, wanna know what the best part was?

They WON!

Wheeeeeeeee!

If you read THESE POSTS, you'll recall that we spent several wonderful days in Destin, FL this summer.


Aidan and I got to go parasailing. It was a blast. Here are some photos!

Weekend Update

Just your average run-of-the-mill weekend in the Glynn household. But Papa Bud was commenting on how much he likes hitting the blog for the goings on, so in honor of his birthday, I'll do another post, even though there is no big news or extraordinary accomplishments.

Little Miss had a swim meet today. This photo is her "warming up" before her event. Little Miss and Aidan are two completely different kinds of competitors. To Bridget, the meets are big, overwhelming, and scary. Just to compete in one is a triumph for her. Today, she swam a 100 yard event for the first time. She said "Mom, on the last 25 yards, I felt like I was going to throw up!" I told her that is EXACTLY how it should feel, so she did it right!

We had to arise at 6:30am to get to the meet which was in south Fort Worth. After she was done with her events (about noon), we headed to the Las Colinas Equestrian Center (yes, it's as big and fancy as it sounds!), to see a couple of her friends compete in a Very Big Horse Show.

The Boys had the "day off." Aidan and his friend Mo spent much of the day running around in the woods with their BB guns looking for things to shoot (sorry Judy!). Mostly grasshoppers and wasp nests, but they DO try to bag the occasional bird. Not with much luck though. Ray worked in the newly cleaned garage putting the final touches on a piece of cabinetry he's building for a friend.

Bridget and I eventually made our way back home and I tried to cobble together a quick "mock" paella for dinner. It was not a success.

Yesterday (Saturday) also started off early with Bridget needing to be on the soccer field by about 7:30am. Her team pulled out a rare win. I think this will be Bridget's last season of soccer, it is really not "her sport." She is finally willing to let it go and try something else. After soccer, we hit the farmer's market and loaded up on tomatoes and peaches, then tried a new breakfast joint. Full of biscuits and gravy, we ambled to the baseball field to watch Aidan play in a nail biter that eneded in a tie.

After the ballgame, we had a Family Event called Clean Out The Garage. The dog hair, sports clutter, wood shavings, spider webs and birds were threatening to take over the place and make Ray nuts. OK, me nuts too, as most of that flotsam & jetsam gets tracked into the house.

After dinner, we built a bonfire out back and roasted marshmallows. The kids are perfecting their technique for the most perfect golden brown marshmallow with a warm liquid center that Ray and I love so much!

It's now Sunday evening and all is quiet. Steeling myself before another busy week which includes one baseball game, one writing contest practice session, eight swim practices (at 3 separate pools), one day of "work" on a consulting gig I picked up, one geography bee practice session, one PTA meeting where Bridget's class is performing, a few hours volunteering at the school, one riding lesson, one Boy Scout meeting, one Parks & Rec meeting where a friend and I are lobbying for more horse trails, one soccer game, one "Sock Hop" at Bridget's school (where IS that darn poodle skirt, anyway?), one "social" for Aidan's swim team, and one horse show where I must contrive a halloween costume for the horse.